If I’m elected, I’ll do my best to restore whirled peas. And bring hominy to every household. Because, c’mon people. Can’t we all just get along? After all, we’re one race. So, that’s a great starting point. And speaking of whirled peas and hominy. Let’s talk about how segregation can be a useful tool. That shouldn’t offend anybody. Right? Hello? Hey, I’m talkin’ about … The rest of the story…
Category Archives: Tony Funderburk
Here’s sort of a definition for the expression “to tempt the fates.” To do something you know to be dangerous, or probably be dangerous. Patrice thought driving that old car would tempt the fates; it was sure to break down. Yeah, that says it pretty well. And I wanna talk about two important dates I think you shouldn’t ignore. Just in case you’d rather not … The rest of the story…
There’s more to life than stuff. OK. There. I said it. And I defy you (or anyone) to prove me wrong. Because you can’t. Yeah, there’s more to life than fixins. Fixins are just a Southern way of sayin’ stuff. Not that I have anything against stuff. Believe me. I’ve got plenty of stuff. Just like most Americans. More than I need. And even … The rest of the story…
It’s March 17, 2023 as I write this. So, here’s an Irish toast for ya. “May your day be touched by a bit of Irish luck, brightened by a song in your heart and warmed by the smiles of the people you love.” By the way, I don’t believe in Irish luck. Or any other kind of luck, for that matter. But I’ll not … The rest of the story…
I worked in a disco. Yep. It’s true. I was a bartender. And I also worked as what they called a “floorwalker.” That was one of the guys who (you guess it) walked around the floor to make sure they were having a good time and behaving. And at the end of the night, I sang Better Off Dead. (Are you with me so … The rest of the story…
As I scrolled through some information on the www this morning, I discovered that today (March 13, 2023) is K9 Veterans Day. And first, I gotta say I didn’t know there was such a day. Secondly, it makes perfect sense when you consider how valuable dogs are to military and police services all around the world. So, this K9 Veterans Day reminded me of … The rest of the story…
The movies out now are mostly total junk. And I know they don’t, as a rule, cater to guys, like me, who prefer to be entertained and encouraged. Because, apparently, most people out there in the wide world would rather watch movies full of profanity, darkness, and sex. At least if the movies out now are any indication. The reason I bring it up … The rest of the story…
Several years ago I conjured up a 7 layer architecture to describe the human heart. But, keep in mind, it’s a product of my own wishful thinking. Because the human heart ain’t nothin’ like this. So, the 7 layer architecture goes like this: “The first layer is a deep, dark indigo where the heart is conceived. The second layer is a rich, regal purple … The rest of the story…
Well, depending on who you source, the meteorological spring for 2023 has begun. Because, from what I discovered, it starts right around the first of March, here in the Northern Hemisphere. And that’s because temperatures are, well, spring like. But meteorological spring isn’t the spring I remember. Because I remember learning about the vernal equinox. And that sounded like a much cooler event than … The rest of the story…
It’s the story of a lilypad, lake, a frog, and a snake. And it shows how what you think about yourself isn’t necessarily what anyone (or everyone) else thinks about you. This lilypad lake story starts out like this: So, once there was a lilypad that no frog ever used. You wouldn’t think a lilypad could get its feelings bruised. But sure enough this … The rest of the story…