Tag Archives: road stories

Tony Funderburk Posted on by

30 thousand miles, added to the odometer of my new ‘73 Ford Maverick, in one year. And that’s a lot of miles for a guy whose drive to work was only about a mile and a half. But it’s also a lot of other stuff.

A lot of miles, memories, and consonants and vowels

I racked up so much more than just a bigger-than-normal number on the odometer. Because I always had my trusty Bic pen and spiral notebook on the seat beside me. And I ran more than one Bic pen dry. Plus, I eventually filled up a couple dozen spiral notebooks.

Now, I’ve heard (and read), I don’t know how many times, people think Kansas is boring and flat. So, how could I have racked up so many miles on my car…in Kansas? There’s nothing to see. Yeah, it’s true. Boring and flat. So, I suggest you drive on around, past, or through. Don’t stop in Kansas.

“There are no trees”

I’ve been alone before,
But never knowing such peace
As when I sat before that audience of trees.

“There are no hills”

Wind blowing through snowflake hills,
Ice castle all crumbling down.
Winter, in silence, is gone.
I watched it go with a frown.
Then, with a sigh, I remember saying good-bye
To Autumn the very same way.

“It’s just so boring”

The Autumn sky is full of colors
And sometimes drops of rain.
It makes me think of bygone summers
And riding on a train.
The golden sun, like Kansas wheat,
Would bake the fields of corn,
And I bucked endless bales of hay
And all my jeans were torn.

Sure, if the only part of Kansas you ever see is through the car window, on Interstate 70, you’ll get a somewhat monotonous perspective of it. But I didn’t rack up all those miles, on my Maverick, driving the interstate.

I meandered many dirt roads through scenery I might never see again. But I dilly dallied through delights from the mind of God that ink and words and spiral notebooks couldn’t contain them all. Big things I saw. Tiny things, too.

Just Imagine And You’re There

There’s a house in the ferns and the petals of the dahlias.
All you have to do is imagine and you’re there…
Breathing in the dew-fresh air.
Life is a breeze, mellow in the trees,
And Joy is there…you need only say please.
You can eat some watermelon
And drink dewdrop tea.
You can sleep until ten thirty…
Oh, it’s heavenly.
There’s a beach by a puddle
Where you’ll lie in the sun.
The fun will never end,
And the days will pass with care.
All you have to do is
Just imagine and you’re there.

All the poetic stuff I just shared was written as a result of driving a lot of miles through “boring” and “flat” Kansas. I hope the majority of people who see it that way always see it that way. And that they never break the heart of the Heartland.

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Tony Funderburk Posted on by

She just wanted to grab a few things at the grocery store. But after she paid for the groceries, she went out the store’s front door and was hit in the face with a gust of wind filled with snow. The ground was already covered with about four inches of the white powder. That meant the canyon road home was too.

Thankfully, it was only a short drive on the canyon road.

But when it was snowy, it could get mighty slick and dangerous. And even though she knew better, she made her way to her car and slid into the driver’s seat. The little Kia Soul started right up, as always, and she put the defogger on full blast. After just a couple of minutes she was ready to go.

So, she pulled out of the grocery store parking lot and eased on to the snowy, slick road. Her hands squeezed the steering wheel so tightly it almost looked as though no blood ran through her fingers.

Then, she whispered a quick prayer,

“God, please don’t let me slide off into the ditch or the creek. Please help me make it home.”

She could barely see even 10 feet in front of the headlights. And they got dimmer, from layers of freezing snow sticking to them. A few times the tires lost grip and slid a little bit. And the young woman’s whole body would jerk as she gasped and panicked a little. But she kept gently easing the car forward, careful to look for the white and yellow lines in the road. But she could only see them here and there.

This drive, on the short canyon road, which would normally be about five to seven minutes, took half an hour. She felt like kicking herself for not letting her family know what time she left the store. Because, through the canyon she didn’t have any phone signal.

But she finally reached the main road that would get her home. So, she figured she’d made it through the worst. Wrong.

Wouldn’t you know?

Even though the main road was well-lit, it was also covered in about 4 or 5 inches of snow. And it felt even slicker than the other road. Plus, now she had to deal with multiple other “crazies” who didn’t seem slow down for the conditions at all. But she didn’t care if they didn’t like it, she slowed WAY down.

As she slogged along at only about 20 miles an hour, other cars whizzed by and splashed magnesium chloride slush all over her windshield. But she was determined. And she vowed to make it home to her loved ones. No matter what.

And she did.

But it wasn’t because she wasn’t afraid. It was because she decided to not give into the fear. Yes, fear IS an option. So, you CAN choose to fear. Or you can choose to do what God says to do.

Fear not.

Maybe you’ve got to deal with a blizzard in your life today. We’ve got a real one blasting through our city today. And that’s after almost 80 degrees yesterday. And maybe your challenge is something else. No matter what you’re up against, Fear Not is your best option. Or if fear hits you, out of the blue, at least don’t give in to it.

Choose to hold onto the promise God gave you: the “spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind“.

That won’t magically make the “blizzard” go away.

But it WILL give you the courage and strength to keep driving toward home.

The keys are in your hand. It’s up to you.
Take the wheel and conquer that canyon road.
You’re never all alone in what you do.
Let God’s word relieve your heavy load.

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Tony Funderburk Posted on by

I wrote a song about freedom. And it was a very me biased perspective. You probably can’t or won’t relate to the words at all when you read ’em. The main reason is, well, you’re not me. And that’s a mighty good thing.

Anyway…

My song about freedom was also influenced by life “on the road.”

Yeah, for a few years of my life, and mostly during my 30’s, I lived full-time “on the road.” (side note: I keep putting quotes around that phrase because I didn’t literally live on any road, it’s a metaphor)

So, I had a much different perspective on America than YOU. Because I saw a lot of places you’ll never see in this big country of ours. And I saw a lot of those places in the wee hours of the night when you were slumbering in your cozy, widdle beddy-bye.

Sorry, that was uncalled for. I’m sure you slept in dignified and stylish comfort just like any adult would.

But the point is, I travelled 100’s of thousands of miles while most people, except for truck drivers and other transporters, enjoyed a visit to Dreamtown.

And I didn’t just see, I also felt how freedom feels. Even though it was during years when so much of our freedoms were already fading into oblivion. But driving down those roads with barely any traffic was fab, man. And slowing down to cruise through the little burgs with no traffic lights (because there was no traffic) was smooth.

I could only imagine what the pioneers, who first traversed past the gateways to the west, must’ve felt. Open land. Big, open sky. Only the sounds of creatures and nature and the steady roll of wagon wheels or beats of hooves.

I was about to get “off the road” back in 1987. And I decided to head to Colorado, the state where I was born. Because I loved the mountain nights when you could see those giant, open skies. And I loved the wide open expanses across the prairies and down in the big valleys. So, in a bar, in Harrisonville, Arkansas, I stood at my keyboard and composed this song. My own send-off written to me. My own song about…

Freedom

I’m gunning for the gold medal, aiming for the sun dance.
Don’t wanna be a drifter all my life, I gotta take a new chance.
I’ve driven down the pipeline. I’ve seen so many street signs.
I’m headed back where I began.
I’ll try to make it mine; all mine.

And if I’ve even learned one thing,
It’s that the music never stops.
And if you dream inside a bubble,
You’ll be surprised when the bubble pops.
Oh, when the bubble pops!

Freedom; don’t want to lose my freedom.
I want to make my choice; make my voice be heard.
Freedom; I’m glad I have my freedom.
If all the world could see,
It would have to be the word. Freedom!

I’m shooting for the north star. And I’m tickling the silver strings.
I’m glad I have the chance to chase ideas and turn them into real things.
I’ve been down lots of broken roads,
Forgot about my Guiding Light.
But now I’m going back where I belong,
And everything is alright

And if I’ve even learned one thing,
It’s that the music never dies.
And if you never reach your rainbow,
At least you’ll see the bluer skies.
Yeah, the bluer skies.

Chorus…inst…repeat chorus

© 1987 Tony Funderburk

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Tony Funderburk Posted on by

Have you heard any of those marketers who talk about working on your laptop on a beach? Of course, that’s just so much hype and silliness.

I’m not saying it can’t be done. But most hard-working entrepreneurs don’t live that life.

So why does so much hype, like that, get spread all over the internet?

Because it sounds so cool. Duh!

Except, when you get right down to it, taking your laptop onto a beach is a wacky thing to do. Because there’s something on a beach that high-tech gadgets, like laptops, don’t take kindly to.

Sand.

But I remember, back in the day, when it wasn’t so much hype for me to be able to live a life like that.  When time at the beach, or by a pool, or on the ski slopes was totally doable.

It was during the time of my life when I was a full-time traveling musician. And there were plenty of times I found myself on a beach during the day, playing music at night, and thinking up the next songs to write.

I didn’t reach the stratosphere of “fame and fortune.” But it sure felt like it sometimes. I’d pinch myself and say “Just think, Tony, they’re paying you to sing and play music!” And I don’t mean once in a while. No, when I say full time, I mean full time. Five to seven days a week. And multiples on the weekends. Did I mention, regular paychecks to sing and play music?

Speaking of writing songs during those days, I wrote and recorded one in a little beach hotel near Padre Island, Texas.

And here’s how that story goes.

I used to carry around an image of the woman I wanted to be with, for good, in my head. And it became so vivid I started to “see it” musically. So, I set up my motel room studio with my 4-track, my Yamaha keyboard, drum machine, and percussion machine, and my headphones.

It was a rainy, South Texas day, so being indoors all day was just the ticket to getting the song recorded with all the parts I wanted in it. If you ever recorded on tape, with only 4 tracks to work with, you’ll know what I mean when I say there was a lot of dubbing and ping-ponging. But, by the end of that day, just as it was getting dark, I had the song out of my head and on tape for posterity. Here are the lyrics. If you want to hear it, you’ll have to tune in to the The Power of God’s Love Podcast. Here are the lyrics:

Drawn to You

Maybe it’s your eyes.  I don’t know.
It could be your walk.  I’m not sure.
But you have a way of distracting my thoughts.
Would you be my drug? Would you be my cure.

Maybe it’s just me making it up
Maybe I’m wrong to even tell you.
But you didn’t lift a finger, and now I’m wrapped around it.
What else can I say?  What more can I do?

I’m drawn to You
Like a June-bug to the light.
I’m drawn to You
Like a boxer to the fight.
I’m drawn to You
Like a sweet tooth and ice cream,
And it may all sound extreme,
But I’m drawn to You.

Maybe I’ll wake up…maybe soon
And find I made it up…Who can say?
“˜Til then I’ll live it out…’til then I’ll follow through
And see if maybe you might feel the same way.

Chorus

Heaven, help me, won’t you take me to my heart’s desire?
Nothing could mean more than having her to share my fire!
Take me higher…draw me near.

Chorus…instrumental…repeat chorus to end

© 1986 Tony Funderburk

If you’ve only known me since my mostly Christian music days, you might think I changed the words to one of my songs on the Amen collection. But it’s actually the other way around. And now you know some of the rest of that story without so much as even a little hype.

OK, maybe you still don’t know me well enough to buy something from me, yet. Well, then, let’s change that. Get to know more about me and my worldview when you join the growing body of believers who signed up for the Tony’s Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional. And receive daily, delightful dashes of salt and TRUTHes of light from the power of God’s love.

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Tony Funderburk Posted on by

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He built a small log cabin on the bank of a small creek, in Kansas, in the early 1830s. Then, the U.S. government built some other lodges in the area. And one of those lodges was for Tonganoxie.

But who in the world was Tonganoxie? And why does it matter?

Well, I’ll answer both those questions. But you should know ahead of time that you might not be satisfied with my answers. If you’re OK with that, read on.

Tonganoxie was an Indian (not the kind from India) from the Delaware tribe. His real name was more like Tonqua-Oxie. But you know how white folks are. They just can’t leave out their privilege and supremacy. So, Tonqua-Oxie transformed into Tonganoxie. And I gotta say, that rolls off the tongue much more easily.

Anyway…

Tonga man was a member of the Turkey Clan. And from what I’ve learned about him, he seemed to be a pretty good guy. He lived at that lodge the U.S. government built. And he operated it as a stage stop and inn. Evidently U.S. Mail arrived and passed through the lodge. And apparently he was given the title of first Postmaster.

Mr. Noxie was also married. And he and his wife had his sister and his sister’s children live with them.

I read a short account of how Tonganoxie was known as a peaceful and kind man. The story goes that he “sheltered JWH Golden, who with two friends was chased from Leavenworth by Border Ruffians. All three were shot less than a half-mile north of Tonganoxie’s lodge. One died and two played dead long enough for the Ruffians to leave. Mr. Golden lived for several years and told how he was aided by Tonganoxie.

And Tonganoxie left that area in 1863.

According to the short article I read, he went to live with a nephew (on allotted land) in the Bonner Springs area. And the area Tonganoxie left was named after him. And, later, Tonganoxie died in southern Kansas while traveling to Oklahoma.

OK, there’s the answer to who in the world he was. Now, as to why it matters.

Well, you might’ve heard that Kansas is one of those states with more than its fair share of tornadoes. But you might not have heard of the “Tonganoxie Split.” It’s supposedly “a phenomenon where storms and tornadoes coming across Kansas split north and south or dissipate as they reach Tonganoxie.” And that tends to ensure that the Kansas City area is saved from the worst effects of that extreme weather.

Now, would you believe that National Weather Service meteorologists don’t believe the Tonganoxie Split is a real thing? I know. It’s crazy to think. But at least a couple of them don’t. In fact, one of them was quoted as saying, “It’s not been seen scientifically to have any real impact, and there are storms that go over there all the time.”

And the other one explained that people believe cities are less likely to be hit by tornadoes. But he said this is “because cities just take up less land than rural areas.” Yeah, again, more crazy talk. So, I guess when it comes down to it, you just have to pick what you’re gonna believe. So-called “urban legends and myths?” Or so-called “science?”

And sometimes towns and people just get caught in the middle.

A Lot In Store

When you’re really in the middle
And you’re feeling like a riddle,
And you start to get a little bit down…
Take your eyes off all your troubles.
Let ’em float away like bubbles.
When they pop, then I bet you can’t frown.
When you think your life is rotten…
All the good things have been gotten,
And the world’s takin’ more than it gives…
Start to laugh and start to winkin’.
You can stop that stinkin’ thinkin’.
That’s the way that a happy kid lives.
Yeah, your face might get all flappy
When you walk around so happy,
But your life is gonna mean much more.
Now go be a sparkling fountain
Or a bright light on a mountain
‘Cause your Maker’s got a lot in store.

© 2013

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It was a cold day in February. I was “on the road.” And, believe it or not, bad things were going on in the world. Yeah, I know. With all the world peace we enjoy these days, that’s difficult to even imagine.

Thankfully bad things are a thing of the past.

I’m so grateful, that over the past 36 years, especially, human beings have learned to get along. And it’s SO nice to be able to talk about war in the past tense. And we’ve cast aside the days when men raped women and trafficked them as sex slaves. It’s such a relief to not have to talk about parents murdering their own children. And, personally, the stress reduction, of knowing our government is finally, once again, in the hands of people who truly DO want to do what’s right, is immeasurable.

Doesn’t it make you glad to get out of bed knowing you won’t have to listen to the same ol’ TV and radio news stories about middle East tensions? And thank goodness we cleared up that whole southern border fiasco. Wasn’t it great how we stood up for America’s sovereignty and even helped those other countries learn how to use their vast resources more efficiently?

Yeah, I, for one, will not take this new Golden Age of Prosperity for granted.

Because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that freedom and the free enterprise system is the cornerstone and foundation for a happy, productive populace. It’s so great to see it flourish again. And it’s pure joy to see the streets safe and clean again.

Even better than that is the fact that all those zombie-like people discovered the many benefits of getting off the hallucinogenic drugs. And how they flocked back to work and became active contributors to their own happiness.

But, with all this wonderment, I won’t forget those bad things.

I guess it’s true what they say about remembering where you came from. Because when you remember, you can learn from past mistakes. And you discover you don’t have to perpetuate the problems.

And, as a Rhyme and Reason writer, I appreciate that. Because it’s no fun writing about all the wars, rumors of wars, murders, rapes, sex trafficking, pedophilia, and sexual perversion. NO! I get ZERO pleasure from writing about any of that.

Because all that stuff leads to death, decay, and destruction. And it focuses on the futility of life. And I don’t wanna think of life that way. In fact, I refuse to think of life that way. Because I want hope. I want happiness. And I want to know that these short years on planet Earth are NOT all there will be.

No, there’s no way to have that kind of hope and happiness if you believe the here and now is all there is. So, I always recommend, to anyone who’s willing to listen, discover the love of Jesus. Otherwise, it’s bad things, and…

When It’s Over, It’s Over

Some will take another’s life and never even look back;
No remorse, or pain, or guilt; no thought to what they’ve done.
Some would end another’s life and laugh to watch them die;
Never thinking twice about the senseless thing they’ve done.

Why can’t they see the total finality?
‘Cause when it’s over
You’ll never bring these people back.
When it’s over, you’ll never see their face again.
It’s frustration to me how the killing people just can’t see
That when it’s over…it’s over.

Some would sell another’s life or pay to have them shot;
Thinking only of themselves and the things they treasure most.
But when the curtains finally close and the stories all unfold,
They won’t still be standing tough.
They won’t still be there to boast.

© 1987

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Tony Funderburk Posted on by

In 1975 I worked a short stint in a bar that featured disco music (aka: discotheque). Yes, I did. Don’t go hatin’ on me. Remember, the Bee Gees song “Stayin’ Alive” was part of that era in music. And you know you secretly wanna dance every time that song starts. So, stop with the disco dissin’.

But I’m not talkin’ about disco music today.

Well, maybe a little. But not mainly.

During my time around all that disco music I met a guy, named Bill, who liked to say his full name was really Moondog Froggy. And everyone just called him Moon. He and his buddy, Ernie, had moved to Kansas from California (go figure). And they got jobs at the same disco bar as me. That’s how we met. They were roommates in an apartment complex near the disco. And it became an after work meeting place.

Oh yeah, they were about six years older than me. And I got a kick out of their antics. They both had an infectious sense of humor. And I always appreciate humorous, generally positive, attitudes.

Anyway…

After a few months, Ernie decided to return to California. And Moon asked if I’d like to take Ernie’s place as his roommate. I had been living in a small Kansas town, south of the “big city,” and I figured it would be a fun, maybe even exciting change. So, I accepted the offer and moved in.

And during that time, Moon introduced me to Pink Floyd. Yep, I hadn’t followed them or their music. But I’m not averse to checking out music I’ve never heard. Of course, if you share some new song I never heard of, don’t think I won’t tell you it stinks, if it stinks. Because I will.

But Pink Floyd’s music didn’t stink. It wasn’t my favorite kind of music. Still isn’t. But, at least it wasn’t the disco music I listened to every night at work. And their album, “Wish You Were Here,” went to #1 on the UK chart in 1975 (on this day, 10/4 as a matter of fact). So, they were a fairly big deal. And a song from the album, “Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” made it to #1 on the U.S. charts.

Moon was eager to share that whole album with me.

And I agreed to listen if he was willing to listen to my current favorite album from 1975, “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy.” His first reaction to that deal was, “Elton John?! His music is bubble gum. And he’s a fruitcake.”

That actually surprised me. Because I had no idea about Elton John’s sexual “preference.” I had just never looked that deeply into the personal lives of my favorite musicians. Just wanted to listen to songs I enjoyed.

Anyway…

I told Moon that the other tracks weren’t all like “Someone Saved My Life Tonight.” And that Elton had tons of music, that never made it to the radio, that was way better than his top 40 hits. And Captain Fantastic included a song I’ve mentioned before, Better Off Dead. It was a song my fellow workers would have me sing to, on the huge sound system, after work, when we could all break from the disco music.

So, we both listened to each other’s recommendations.

And we both ended up liking each other’s recommendations. Cool when that happens.

Are you a Pink Floyd fan? If so, click or tap the link and see if you can find something of theirs you like. And if you enjoy their music, let me know what your favorite is and why. And shine on you crazy diamond.

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