Tag Archives: road stories

Tony Funderburk Posted on by

At the end of the summer, in 1972, I drove my ’65 Plymouth Fury back to Texas from Kansas. And a lot of the drive was on highways 69 and 75 through Kansas, into Oklahoma, and then from Tulsa, Oklahoma on down to Houston. It was a long, 12 to 14 hour drive. And I passed the time listening to Honky Chateau, Harvest, and Thick as a Brick.

Honky Chateau was Elton John’s first U.S. number 1 album.

And all it takes is the first few bars of “Honky Cat,” the first song on the album, to take me right back to that road trip. Matter of fact, I enjoyed every track on the album. And it wasn’t till quite some time later that I started to actually discern the lyrics and examine Elton John’s lifestyle.

Of course, he wouldn’t admit to it, but each of the songs on Honky Chateau is a representation of his soul yearning for his Creator. And that goes, maybe double, for Bernie Taupin. He’s the lyricist for most of Elton’s hits.

Honky Cat includes the lyrics: “lookin’ for an answer, tryin’ to find a sign.” Then, the song “Mellow” actually mentions the name of God and talks about sowing seeds. After that is a suicide note, with a perky beat and instrumentation, as he sings “I Think I’m Gonna Kill Myself.”

After that comes “Susie (Dramas).” And, on the surface, it’s just a bluesy-rock song about Susie. But when you consider that Elton lives his life on the “gay” side, the song takes on undertones of knowing right from wrong.

And how about “Rocket Man?” Well, it reminds me, a little bit, of how King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes. The fleeting futility of life. Especially when the lyrics say, “Rocket Man, burnin’ out his fuse up here alone.”

Then, if you listen to the actual vinyl album, this is where you flip to side 2.

And side 2 starts with “Salvation.” In that song, Bernie Taupin wrote:

“A chance to put the devil down
Without the fear of hell
Salvation spreads the gospel round
And free you from yourself”

So, take from that what you will or won’t.

Next, there’s “Slave.” And the lyrics at least acknowledge what’s written human hearts. In the chorus you hear,

“Slave, slave
To fight the violence we must be brave
Hold on strong to the love God gave
Slave”

After “Slave” there’s “Amy.” And it’s a rocker and an ode from a boy to a girl. Again, the inner man looking to reach the outer fallen facade.

Then, the next to the last song is “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters.” It’s my favorite song on the album. And the lyrics even include words of thanks. “I thank the Lord there’s people out there like you.” When you do a search for the lyrics, you’ll see most sources even capitalize the word Lord.

They probably don’t even realize what they’ve done.

And the final song on the album is “Hercules.” Sort of what I’d call a testosterone tune. A man talking more man talk. And expressing his love for the opposite sex. Kind of odd for a guy who identifies as a homosexual. Again, I realize Elton didn’t write the words. But he sang them. And part of the lyrics even mention prayer and say…

“Some men like the Chinese life
Some men kneel and pray
Ooh well I like women and I like wine
And I’ve always liked it that way
Always liked it that way”

OK, why did I just take you on a “road trip” through Honky Chateau? Because it was on this day, July 15, in 1972, that the album went to number 1 here in America. Stayed there for 5 weeks. And Elton’s next six albums all went to number 1 here in America.

And I’d be willing to be neither Elton nor Bernie ever gave credit where credit is due. They wouldn’t have ever had a chance at a fraction of their success if it wasn’t for the Grace of Jesus.

But I hope the yearning in their hearts, that yearning soaring up from their lyrics, clears their heads one day. And I hope they don’t miss out on the eternal Heavenly Chateau. But it looks like they will. Because if you’re truly “lookin’ for an answer, tryin’ to find a sign,” the evidence is literally all around you.

Stay tuned,

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Tony Funderburk Posted on by

Back in the late 90’s I started a fairly long run of playing music in the casinos in the mountains outside the Denver metro area. And it was weird playing for crowds who mostly ignored me. But the money was great. So, I used the opportunity to add lots of songs to my repertoire. Because I could practice them on stage and most people wouldn’t even notice the rare clinker. One song was a request by the general manager of one of the most popular casinos. He asked if I could play Whiter Shade of Pale. And I told him, “No, but I will tomorrow night.”

So, the next night (after some hours of practice) I played Whiter Shade of Pale, and…

The general manager was so impressed he asked me to play it each set. Which I was happy to do.

And the reason that memory popped into my head was because of what’s coming up in less than two weeks. At about 11:32 p.m. on June 20th to be a bit more exact. Of course you know what I’m talking about.

Yeah, the Christmas in June extravaganza sale!

No. I kid. I’m a kidder. Actually it’s the summer solstice for 2021. And probably the next question that zoomed to your frontal lobe was, “What’s that got to do with Whiter Shade of Pale, Tony?”

Well, I’ll share that with you. But first a little history lesson on the Ancient Greeks, Ancient Romans, Ancient Chinese, Vikings, Native Americans, and Druids. Sounds fun, right? Well, that’s because it’s a ton-o-fun.

OK, I won’t bore you with all the wacky details of all those wacky people. But you should know they sure went crazy for summer solstice. The Greeks flip-flopped the whole masters and servants roles. And they started their countdown to the Olympic games on the day of summer solstice.

The Chinese had a ceremony to celebrate femininity and called it yin. It was a nice answer to the winter solstice to celebrate masculinity that they called yang. Some tribes jumped through fire to predict crop growth. No wonder their language sounds like somebody’s on fire.

The Vikings were more serious and down to earth. They used the time to figure out legal issues and iron out certain types of disputes. But they also go to certain wells for the “healing powers.” And they built huge bonfires there.

Wow, what’s with all the fires in summer?

Now, the Maya and Aztec civilizations were more scientific about it. Apparently they precisely built temples and other structures to line up with the shadows from astrological events. Like summer and winter solstice. Duh.

And the Druids were pretty boring on summer solstice. At least compared to all the rest of these peoples. They just held some rituals to mark the days. And then they went on about their business.

At least the Native Americans were a little more exciting. They had their solstice rituals, too. But they came up with a ceremonial sun dance. They even wore colorful outfits to make it more festive. That’s so native, dudes.

And now comes the connection.

“What connection,” you ask. What? Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten my reference to remembering Whiter Shade of Pale because of the summer solstice.

Yeah, it’s because of those crazy ancient Romans. And their Vestalia festival. That’s when they paid tribute to Vesta, the goddess of the hearth. And leave it to those Romans to make a bloody ritual out of it. Like when they’d sacrifice an unborn calf right out of its mother’s womb. Plus, it was the only time of the year when married women were allowed to enter the sacred temple of the vestal virgins. And they could go in to make offerings to Vesta.

So. There you have it. The Ancient Roman connection to a song I learned for a general manager of a casino in the front range mountains of Colorado.

Have a great day.

Uh, what’s that you say? You don’t get the connection? Do you not recall the lyrics to Whiter Shade of Pale? OK, for those of you who don’t. Here’s the second verse. And don’t be surprised when thoughts of those crazy Romans pop into your head…

She said, “There is no reason
And the truth is plain to see”
But I wandered through my playing cards
And would not let her be
One of sixteen vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might just as well have been closed.”

(by the way, I did the Annie Lennox version of the song…for those keeping score)

Stay tuned,

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Or how about some music for kids

Tony Funderburk Posted on by

When I first started passionately pursuing music, I was in junior high. And my love for music went supernova while I was in high school. But it took a few years after high school before I started to think I might “be a star” one day. Not because I had visions of fame and glory. But because I wanted music to be my vocation.

And I actually had opportunities to “be a star.”

In fact, there were multiple times, during my full-time musician career, when I brushed up against that “next level.” For years, I kept a copy of a letter I received from Capitol Records. Because they had gotten a demo tape I sent and were interested in talking to my “representative.”

The lady who wrote to me said everyone who listened to my music thought I sounded like Kenny Loggins. And she added that the other ladies in the office that I was “much cuter.” And that I had caused quite a stir. (Ah, the halcyon days of my prime)

But I’m not sharing this with you to brag. Or to get you to think I’m something special. Far from it.

It’s just another example, in an endless parade of examples, of how short your time is here on Earth. And how fast it goes by. One day you cause a stir with a group from the opposite sex. And the next day you’re decades away. And the day after that, you’re a footnote in a tiny book.

But that’s just the here and now.

Fortunately, that doesn’t have to be the whole you. Because, you’re an eternal being. Not your body. YOU. And despite what you see when you look in the mirror, you’re a star. Because God made you in His image and likeness.

So, get up and conquer your day.
Be the star you are, your own way.
And even though certain parts fade,
Remember the Way that you’re made.

Stay tuned,

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Or how about some music for kids

Tony Funderburk Posted on by

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In 1982 I played a couple of times, for about a month each time, at a once famous barbecue restaurant in Atlanta, Georgia. It was just me and my Helpinstill Roadmaster piano, my microphone, and a small sound system. And I hadn’t done the solo thing in a while, so I was nervous. But, as it turned out, the managers and staff really liked me. So, I had a short, but successful run. And one thing I remember is how Hall and Oates were big back then. And somebody made sure their current hit, Maneater, played during my breaks.

Oh, oh there she goes. Watch out boy, she’s a maneater.

Yeah, that was a number 1 song for Hall and Oates for four weeks. And they had a string of number ones. Five in a row at that point.

But that song was just one of the random and odd memories I have from my days at Jilly’s Barbecue. Because, as it turns out (and I definitely didn’t know then) Jilly’s was apparently a place for some, shall we say, less than legitimate bidness activities.

In fact, I just read an old article that said the “restaurant’s principals, who were franchising it, were later investigated for trafficking in marijuana and cocaine.” And the article also said, “Over the next decade and several apparently execution-style murders” the “feds” took the main owner to court and won a conviction.

And actually, I don’t doubt it.

Because I remember one incident, with a pretty young woman asking me to follow her to another room during one of my breaks. She said “everybody wants to meet you.” And as we arrived in the other room, she asked me if I’d like to “powder my nose.” I started to laugh, because, whether you believe this or not, I didn’t do cocaine. Never did drugs. I was just too darn boring for all that.

Anyway…suddenly I felt like I was in a video for the Maneater song.

I politely refused the “free buzz.” And quickly went back to the safety of my Helpinstill. For me, it was nothing short of bizarre.

But this was back in a time when Atlanta also had “To-Go” cups for your drinks. And not just fountain drinks. I mean your margaritas, martinis, and manhattans, too. My favorite was the MelonBall. But that’s another story.

So, the moral of this story is this…

Stay on the straight and the narrow.
Be a good chick or good dude
‘Cause you’ll save mucho dinero,
And you won’t get barbecued.

Stay tuned,

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Tony Funderburk Posted on by

I just read a funny and coincidental story about a band named Johnny and the Moondogs. And I know you’ll get a kick out of this when I share the whole thing. Because it’ll give you some ammo for making fun of me. But I’m totally confident in my own skin. So, get ready to load up because here’s the rest of the story…  

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Johnny and the Moondogs lost a star search competition.

Apparently they made it to what was known as the “last heat.” And they had a chance to win it all just by getting the most applause at the end. But, as the story goes, they didn’t have enough money to stay in town that night. And they had to leave so they could make it back home for another booking.

So, since they couldn’t stick around, they didn’t win.

But no big deal. Who cares? Right? I mean…just another band of nobody wannabes.

Yeah, that would’ve been true. Except Johnny and the Moondogs soon became a slightly better known band. The Beatles. Ever heard of ’em?

And I have a similar story about a time my brother and I were in a talent competition in Houston, Texas. But we were able to stick around and actually win third place. Not bad, right?

Not so fast.

First place went to a disco dancer on roller skates. And second place went to a guy who balanced a lawnmower on his chin. So, the deck was stacked against us. I mean, c’mon. Who can compete with all that awesome talent? No fair that we’d be tossed in with the upper echelon.

Yeah, life is full of unfair days. Who allowed that? After all…this is America. Land of the free. Home of the brave. And the great equal opportunity employer.

But such is life and circumstances.
Take your shot and take your chances.
Win sometimes and sometimes lose.
Some days are reds and some are blues.
But through it all your heart should say
Thank God for this…another day.

Stay tuned,

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Grab yourself an un-cool tShirt

Or how about some music for kids

Tony Funderburk Posted on by

I got a real nice note, in the mail, from my cousin, Becky. She lives in Texas. And she was here in Colorado, with her family, a couple of months ago. But we didn’t get together because she thought I still lived in the Denver metro area. And Elgielene and I moved to Colorado Springs a few years ago. Oh well. That’s life sometimes. But the part of the note that really stood out to me was my cousin’s different perspective.  

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It’s kinda fun to see yourself from someone else’s different perspective.

Cousin Becky said she and her brother and sisters always thought of my younger brother and me together. In other words, it was almost like they couldn’t say my name without saying my brother’s name. And I get that. My brother and I were connected maybe a little more closely than most back then. Because our parents split up when we were very young. So, the only person he saw, year ’round, was me. And the only person I saw, year ’round, was him.

I’ve mentioned it before. But in case you’re new here, my brother and I used to take two train trips each summer. One from Houston to Kansas City at the end of each school year. And a return trip at the end of each summer.

On one of those train trips, when I was around 10 years old, I remember an encounter with an elderly lady in the dining car. The train had made its usual extended stop in Oklahoma City. And I remember looking out the dining car window, from the railway bridge, at what seemed like the back streets of the city.

It was all an adventure story to me. And apparently my wide-eyed wonder was visible.

As I recall, and I might be romanticizing it a bit because that was a long time ago, the nice lady seemed wealthy. And I remember she had a grown son with her.

As they passed the table where my brother and I sat, she looked down at me and smiled. And stopped. She turned to her son and told him to take a picture of me. “Look at those big, beautiful, blue eyes,” she said. “Get a picture.”

Her son took out his boxy camera and snapped a quick pic.

The nice lady stood there, smiling, for a couple more moments. Then, she patted me on the shoulder, and she and her son left the dining car. And, of course, I never saw her again.

See what a different perspective can do?

I start out reading a nice card mailed to me from my cousin. And I end up telling a traveling story. But I believe that’s a tiny glimpse into the amazing design of the brain. God could’ve designed it to store only the information we need for survival. But from His loving perspective, He knew how awesome it would be to give us memories.

I hope you’ll tell someone you love, today,
Something they will not soon forget,
A little something they can take through life,
A memory. A love vignette.

Stay tuned,

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Or how about some music for kids

Tony Funderburk Posted on by

I’ve shared the story of my humble beginnings, in the spotlight, before. And you should go read that. It’s hilarious. My glamorous debut at Dinkledorf’s Deli in Kansas City. But one detail I left out in that recollection was how I wrote songs on the spot. And I thought about that again, today, when I saw news about Mac Davis on social media.  

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Mac Davis did this thing I thought was worth repeating

“What’s Mac Davis got to do with your musical debut, Tony?”

I’ll answer that in a minute. But first, I saw Mac just had heart surgery. And his family says he’s “critically ill following heart surgery in Nashville.” I don’t personally know him, but I do remember several of his songs.

Mac got started as a songwriter back in 1969. And he wrote some hit songs for a rather obscure singer from back then…Elvis Presley. But Mac also had several hit songs as a singer and performer. And he even had his own TV show for a little while.

And it was something he did on his TV show that stuck with me.

He had a little improv section in his show where he’d ask his audience to give him some words or an idea for a song title. And when they gave him something he could work with, he composed a song on the spot. Most of the time it ended up being pretty funny. But it was always a hit with his audience.

And when I made my debut at Dinkledorf’s Deli, I used that idea as part of my show.

It was only a two night booking. And I only performed Tony Funderburk songs. So, only family and friends truly appreciated my repertoire. But the whole audience got a kick out of me taking their suggestions and composing songs on the spot. If only smartphones had been invented back then. Who knows? Maybe I’d have a wacky recording to share. But unfortunately there’s no recording.

But this story shows one of the many ways we humans are connected.

And it’s such a shame there are so many people out there who prefer to destroy those connections. That’s not the right road to go down. And it only leads to heartache, at best, and wars and worst.

Wow, now I’ve started talking about wars. And that’s after starting a conversation about Mac Davis. Don’t try this kind of writing at home kids. Leave it to those select few of us who are the experts. “Oh Lord, It’s Hard to Be Humble.”

 

Stay tuned,

Tony Funderburk signature logo

Get my Rhyme & Reason Podcast delivered (free) right to your player.

My books are also on Amazon.com or Apple Books

Grab yourself a cool tee

Or how about some music for kids