24 years ago today I became a husband. I had never been one before, so I didn’t know what to expect. I only knew I was very ready to be one. I had met a beautiful woman, and she actually thought I was worthy…so, as they say, I “popped the question”.
As I recall (vividly) there weren’t many (almost none, in fact) who gave this marriage any chance of success. Most doubted a musician would stay “true”…or that a relationship that had begun on such long-distance terms could endure. They figured both of us were either seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, or that it must be just a matter of lust.
I’m human (and male) enough to admit that lust certainly played a role. But I don’t believe that’s necessarily a bad thing. It depends on where a person allows lust to go…or whether or not that person can balance lust with love. I felt I had good balance, and I didn’t want someone else to step in on my “territory”…so to speak.
My quest to win the girl’s heart had actually begun 3 years earlier when I first met her in Florida where I took up temporary/permanent residence as a pro musician in her hometown. I played music in the same luxury hotel where she was working, and we became friends. Yes, I said friends…not lovers. And it stayed that way, and a few month later I moved on to hit the road full time again.
She had left an impression on me, though, and I began to write her letters from the road…addressed to the hotel because I didn’t know her home address. She didn’t write back much, and when she did, it was only to tell me I shouldn’t write her. She’d say I should find some other girl…if and when I ever chose to settle in one place.
Eventually I landed in the Denver, Colorado area and didn’t find anyone who ever erased the memory of that girl in Florida. So, I started writing her again. In order to condense this story a bit, let me say how I finally got a positive response from her after months of trying. Then I began writing her every day. Yes, every day. Sometimes two, even three letters in one day. After months of this, she finally gave up any hope of dashing my efforts against the rocks and relented to a meeting in Florida.
I flew down twice to see her there, and on the second trip “popped the question”. She said yes…her fate was sealed…and 24 years later we’re still together.
The moral of the story is this…you can’t just wait for a good wife (or husband)…sometimes you gotta go out and find one.
In Faith, Hope, and Love…